Culprit Identified

Officials from the California Department of Fish & Game have identified the culprit in the recent water main breakage as the work of a “sewer gator”. It is common for people, tired of their pets, to flush them down the toilet and apparently this is often the case with baby alligators. The hardy creatures are able to thrive in the damp subterranean environment of sewers and storm drains.

Spokespersons for Golden West, the local water barons of Ojai, remarked “We have no insurance for this sort of thing.” They are currently seeking a means of repairing the damage to the Ojai Playhouse which has been closed for a year by the alligator’s destructive activities.

The upcoming Ojai Film Festival has been forced to seek other venues for it’s festival of independent films. Their attitude is that “the show must go on.” One OFF Board member is contacting local entertainment industry residents to option the story.

Fish and Game has agreed to trap and relocate the alligator once crowds have dispersed. Protesters are wary of this promise due to events concerning a treed bear some years ago. Lake Casitas has been suggested as a home for the Ojai Sewer Gator.